Here is a note from my journal before was losing my weight

June 15 2009
Today I started my day with just the sausage of the biscuit and a large sweet tea.
At 461 lbs it very hard to move and I find the weight on my legs unbearable and hard to move trying to work with it by swimming and water arobeckes my goal is to get off this weight by next June for hopes birthday. June 07 2010 I pray I can do it.
For lunch today I had three hot dogs no bun I have gain two more pounds I hate my self and what I have become I know hope hates me and I doubt autumn loves me because I have let my self go .hope even tells me she wishes I was not here daddy how have I falling to deep in this despair! I have all I ever what’d and I am failing bad as a parent and a husband I have no joy just the feeling losing my self is it to late or can I get it all back I wish I could scream god help me!